I decided to reflect on the
Homestudy reading for this blog post. It
took me a very long time to complete this assignment solely because I stopped
to think about answering many questions for a different perspective. I believe the questions asked were fairly reasonable,
but you still do not get the whole picture of a person from these questions. My answers probably did not give the agency a
holistic view of who I am, nor do I think any amount of questions could. One question that I struggled with was “Describe
yourself”. I could not begin to fathom
the weight and unfairness of this question.
How is somebody supposed to describe their personality and emotions in
words? I did not like that question very
much, since you can describe yourself very differently depending on the arena
you are in.
Since I know that the only thing standing between me and my
child is these questions for the social worker to review, I am going to give
the warmest and nurturing answers I can configure. I would hate this process due to the high
level of stress that goes into each question.
If you answer one question poorly, it could negatively affect the
outcome of you getting your child; just one wrong answer.
The questions asked were loaded to give a social worker an
easier task of determining whether we are emotionally, physically and
financially able to meet the needs of a child.
Sure, these questions do a great job at determining the current state of
the adoptive parent, but only one question probes the idea of future change; do
you plan any changes with your job?.
That is the only question that suggests that a person can actually
change over time. It’s possible that
these questions eliminate some of the people who are unfit to be parents, but
what if circumstances change? I guess
they can re-apply.
I am willing to bet if I wholeheartedly sat down and took
answered this questionnaire it would take me approximately one week to finalize,
if not more. You can never have enough
time to express yourself in words, especially when it relates to something of
this level of importance and desire.
I do not believe non-adoptive parents should have to go
through the same process. I think you
cannot determine if a person is going to be a good parent or not simply by how
they answer questions. I believe
parenting is just like anything else in life, you learn as you go and you gain
all of your knowledge from experiences and examples.
The question I pose is, what type of answers do social
workers look for when choosing adoptive parents? Do you believe this a fair way to determine
if a person is fit to adopt?
Brandon Kasper
Graded Reply 3
ReplyDeleteHi Brandon,
I really liked how you approached the homestudy question for this past blog post. I was impressed with your reflection and your critical thinking skills. Much of what I wrote in my blog post mirrors some of the issues you addressed.
I really liked how you addressed the question of change. I believe that people can change over their lifetime. Chances are adoptive parents answers to the questions in the homestudy will change once the child enters into their life. I know from recently studying abroad, that I changed as an individual because of my new experience. Since returning, I know that I view the world around me differently. This idea also links into your philosophy about parenting, that you learn through experience. As a parent, you can’t be expected to know it all. That would be impossible and place standards too high.
The questions you asked at the end of your post were also very interesting. Whenever I think of social workers, I am always skeptical because of the articles we read for class. In the “Adoption Counseling Services Experience by Unwed Mothers in Korea” by Hyoung-Suk Choi, I think of the social worker who wanted to match a child to a family based on blood type and who told the birthmother “So you want to raise your child as a bastard?” By no means am I inferring that all social workers are like this, since Jackie, the speaker from CUB, and others have had a pleasant experiences with theirs. I hope that all social workers are ethical and choose adoptive parents based on the needs of the child and the birthmother’s wishes.
Again, I really liked how you addressed the homestudy prompt.
Amanda O.
Graded Reply:
ReplyDeleteBrandon-
It's really interesting to find out how other people viewed the home study questions! I very much liked what you had to say about the questions in the home study that addressed any type of change over time. I hadn't considered this at all when I went through and answered the questions for myself. I decided that the questions were good, seeing as they checked out many of the areas of the parents that could potentially affect the child as he/she grew. However, you bring up a great point. I believe that over time, especially once people have a child in their lives, they change a great deal. They sleep with one eye open every night, they're more careful about what they leave on the floor or just lying around, ect., EVERYTHING changes. I don't think any have the foresight to know just how they're going to change until it surrounds them.
I am also curious as to what a social worker would look for... Can they spot people that might not become decent parents? On what grounds is it fair to reject someone? Do they look for perfection? I feel like it's a big weight on their shoulders, they have so many people's lives and emotions riding on their decision.